This last week was interesting to say the least, well as interesting as things get in my life.
The only way that I could really think to handle and coupe with this stuff was of course to share it all with the world … lucky you!

Let me start with all of this first section comes from the mouths of inmates.
As we all know, they are the most brilliant people around, just ask them.
No, some of them are brilliant, and it’s darn scary just how smart they are in fact!
As proof of the majority though, I give you this lovely conversation …
Let me set the scene for you first though.
A Hawk flies by and all of the pigeons and crows get out of dodge hiding in the trees.
The only animals left in the area are a couple of ducks and a chicken.
One inmate asks why they didn’t go and hide as well.
Another inmate says because the ducks are larger then the hawk and there are two of them so it would be hard fight for the hawk to win being two on one after all.
OK, that kind of makes since.
The first inmate then asks why the chicken doesn’t go and hide.
Yet another inmate voices up and says because if the hawk gets to close the chicken will just fight it off and/or fly off.
Me ß um, what?
Then the discussion takes another turn as the inmates try and figure out what flies faster.
A chicken or a duck.
Because if the ducks are faster then of course that must be another reason why they are not afraid of this hawk because who has ever scene two ducks fighting a hawk … this is getting strange …
This goes on for about 10 minutes as 5 grown men go on and on about how hawks don’t want to mess with chickens because they will kick there bums.
Because of course, chickens are natural fighters and fight all the time and could easily take out a hawk.
This conversation hurt my head as they kept telling stories about how they have scene chicken fights and scene them flying.
At no point did any of them disagree with chickens not being able to fly though … so now I question it myself!
Do I need to fear a flock of dive-bombing chickens from the north as they migrate south for the winter for now on?
Did the Yankee’s actually use fighting chickens to help win the war?
Fly them in and them set them a foot with there claws of doom?
Then the question came up about turkeys too!
Did you know that they can fly as well?
Even the big fat fluffy ones!
Do you think that sometimes when there is a wayward chicken or turkey that a flock of ducks might let them fly south with them?
Is the reason I didn’t know about this simply because I never looked hard enough at a V formation in the sky just assuming it was ducks when in fact it might have been turkeys, chickens, penguins or ostridges?
Now I also wonder if the whole move Chicken Run based on a lie?
Where people finding out that chickens could in fact fly, did the government have to go to Hollywood to tell them to make this movie just to keep the people in the dark because they feared they might just need the Chicken soldiers again in the near future?
If all of this is true then I have really fouled up my foul knowledge!
I mean, if all of this is true and is in fact based on truth, do I in fact need fear cockatrice’s now too?!?
I mean it was bad enough having to watch out Medusas but now I might have to watch out for a second creature that might turn me to stone?
Dead Bob, if they are real Basilisks and other mythical creatures might be as well!
3 different type of monsters that can turn us to stone at just a look?
I think that we have a very real and dangerous problem here.
So much so that we might need to take this to the government!
The only lobbyists (Have I mentioned that I hate lobbyists?) who would possibly stand against us would be the 4:20 crew … hehe … yea I know I came a long way around to get to that joke but you know you smiled.
Where to start this search for the unholy creatures though … well Germany for the basilisk and Jamaica for the cockatrice of course!
OK, I don’t think I can beat this horse any longer so lets move on to what really bothered me this week shall we?

So I was driving my crew to the job site and we saw a large, about 1 foot long, turtle trying to cross the road.
Being that the road was about to get busy with traffic and it was dark so people might not see it, I ask if anyone wants to go move the turtle.
I would have, but I had a volunteer … there is hope isn’t there that some of these guys might turn out to be alright …
The guy gets out of the vehicle gets a good running start trying to get to the turtle and then … kicks it …
Um, no, I couldn’t have scene that correctly could I?
Wait he is moving towards it again … and kicks it again?
I get out, yell something I shouldn’t type out and make him pick it up and carry it across the street.
I ask him what in the world he was doing and he says he doesn’t like turtles because one time one bite him.
OMG, Um, what?
So he thinks it’s all funny until I tell him I am going to write him up for molesting wildlife and I see his face twist in that ‘what the heck I didn’t do that to the turtle’ look.
So, the turtle seemed OK, the inmate knows he messed up big time and I have the reaffirmation that some people are, as my mother has told me I was once, ‘a waist of flesh.’
HE KICKED THE POOR TURTLE!
What was he thinking?!?
I just don’t understand, did he think it was a basilisk?
O come on I had to make one more joke about it!

… I think I hate him …

Talk to you all next week