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This year La Wife and I decided, OK she decided and forced me into doing as she wished because deep down she really is evil through and through, to go and do both families dinners again.
Now, keep in mind she thinks that it’s wonderful and all of that but I do have some issues with it.
I am forced to drive all over the State, then try to ear 2 large meals in one day (Mind you that so does not help the diet!), force me to be nice to people I don’t want to see and deal with because I just ate not one but two meals and I am not allowed to take a nap.
I don’t even see my whole family.
Just 2/3rds of them, and yes she wants us to see you too.
Then all of the people I do see pretend to be happy to see me, but as ICP comments about, they only say hello and see me around a big dinner!
This makes me think, a lot of the people I saw don’t know me.
They know my name, how I am related into the circle and little things like that.
Some of them say they love me, when most of them don’t even know my middle name.
I understand that a lot of that is my fault.
I am a recluse, and I do injoy it don’t get me wrong.
But how many of them, or even you, can tell me what some of my dreams and goals are?
How many of you know why I dislike Friday the 13th?
Who can tell me the 2 reality shows I want to go on, and better yet why?
What would someone say about me in my eulogy?
What have I accomplished?
What betterment to the world have I done?
Why do people consider me there friend?
What people around me would think of me in a year and shed a single drop of H2O in my memory?
That being said, do I actually in fact have an effect on anyone’s life?
I am a recluse, that has already been addressed.
Let me say how bad it is though, going for the most contact to the least.
My Wife and I talk of course daily
My Mother-in-law and Sister-in-law and I talk a few times a week, only for a moment but still that’s something … it is still more then I would like :P
My Mother calls me a few times a month, just to say hello and make sure I am alive.
My Father and Step-Father call about 2 times a month, to check on me also or just because something funny made them think about me.
My best friend and I talk on average once every month or so give or take a few weeks.
My Sister and I go months without speaking.
My Brother-in-law and Step-mother speak even less then that.
So, all of that being said, keep it that way!
I don’t want more, we make it work.
More at his point would be an act of pity or regret.
It’s to late, I have made my plans and just have to talk La Wife into it at this point!
I am look around and wonder how this happened?
Some of us have busy jobs, children, church activities and all kinds of other excuses.
Is that an excuse though?
I for one am tired of making a phone call trying to make sure someone is alright and then being told they have to go because they have another call and they will call me back … yea still waiting for that call …
I understand the screaming child in the background, the other work line, even the my _____ just walked in let me call you back.
How about you do that though?
When did people get so busy trying to keep up with the Jones’s that they have forgotten the rest of us?
Fine, you are trying to make a better life for yourself, and your family.
You all spend all of your time working to better your own and your children’s lives but they grow up and never get to know you?
What if you plan to do this, promise to do it, and then get side tracked and say next time … and there isn’t a next time?
As I said, things happen and things come up … people die every day …
So what is my train of though on this you ask?
No, I am not suicidal no matter what certain doctors say!
No, I don’t want people calling me saying they are sorry and or we need to hang out.
I am the one who normal turns down the invites anyway.
It’s to late, you are all dead to me as my sister used to say.
I am tired of being upset wondering what I did to become so unimportant that I never get call back.
Am mean, am I really that anti-social?
So, your acting have pushed my hand and here it is …
I get a little money from the Government every month, and although it is WAY early in my life I can go out on disability.
Then in a mere 23 years I can collect a little something something from the State as a retirement.
Then I will collect Social Security 20 years or so after that, and then La Wife will too.
I know, it isn’t’ a lot of money but it will be enough for what I am thinking about doing!
What is that you might ask?
I’m Moving to Tonga!
What, you don’t know about Tonga?
Let me give you a little run down then.
Wait, no go to this site and read all about it yourself!
http://www.investintonga.com/tonga.html
So, although some of you might be upset, I doubt it though, I also know that some of you will be happy when you finaly deside to come visit me!
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All of my life I have felt like an outsider.
It might have been self induced but I will never admit to that!
In school I was held back in first grade so I was the flunky kid from very early on.
Then in about 4th grade I decided to grow up … to about 6’ foot and that made things weird.
Middle school I hated country music.
Living in St. Cloud that kind of made it so I was an outcast for not liking it.
So I ended up with the head bangers and skaters never fitting in with either of those groups either.
High school … was short lived but I didn’t fit in there either I might add.
I ended up in a Vocational School at 16 filled with adults so again all by myself.
I joined the Army at 17 … I being stubborn, refused to let my mind be warped (To Bad That Is) and came out still with a little bit of myself, so I did not fit in there either.
I got out, bounced job to job and ended up at the Prison … to say I don’t fit in is an understatement!
All of my life I have felt like the outsider.
I try not to bother people or to ever let them know I am around.
I have always been the guy who just sticks it out so long that I become one of the crowed.
It isn’t because I was cool or they were looking for that new friend, just I am always around for some strange reason.
One of the few places I didn’t feel that I could be myself, I was dragged away from.
When I got upset and said why I didn’t want to leave it, because I felt like I fit in somewhere for the first time I got a loving response.
I could fit in anywhere, I just had to try harder … O the few things I remember …
That’s wasn’t the issue at the time, and I still don’t think it is today, we can all put on a face and pretend to be someone or something we are not.
We do that at work, church and other places.
How often do we find a place we can be who we are though, and not who we need to be?
All of this being said, I have some darn good people in my life!
I might not hear form them often or them from me … years at a time so times.
I know though that if I call them, that what ever I need done will be done without a thought to how it might be out of their way.
1 of my friends, ok my best after La Wife that is, lives hundred of miles away … OK thousands right now but that isn’t the point of this topic now is it?
We talk once a month and that seems to work out well for us.
2 of my ‘friends’ were my high school bullies … I told you I was off a little!
OK, I guess I need to stop here for a second and break down friends in my eyes?
There is a defined difference in the category of friends.
We have friends, associates, acquaintances and folk we know.
I have only 2 friends, La Wife and Kermit.
The two others I before mentioned are more or less just very close associates.
We as a people really need to come up with a few better adjectives to describe the placement of people in our social lives.
Then I have this other group …
A lot of people call them dorks, dweebs, geeks and nerds.
… I do too a lot of the time …
These are my gamer buddies.
To tell the truth though, I think most of us are just in this group of people because we didn’t fit in anywhere else.
Then again, I see a lot of popular people in this group too who just join up to have fun!
We all play some game or another.
Video Games, WoW, EQ, figure based, RPG’s, LARP’s and so many others.
You might be surprised at some of the people in this group too.
Everyone from Teachers and Truck Drivers, Police and Paramedics to Actors and Attorneys.
I just wanted to somewhat publicly thank all of them.
I have issues and am not the easiest person to get a long with at times.
I also know that I have never and will never fit in all the way, but you keep me around?
You all opened your arms and welcomed me, reluctantly I am sure, into your ranks.
You all make me feel welcome, and that has helped through some dark, dark times!
So thank you all!
If ever I can help out please let me know!
On a side note …
The other plus to being in this group … HELP! … I broke my websites … again …
Just kidding, it isn’t broken.
I am just not smart enough to figure it out :P
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As I said in my Veterans day Blog, I left a lot out.
I deleted about a page of stuff that I wanted to say, but felt it didn’t pay tribute to the people it was about.
To be honest, I wasn’t happy with that whole writing effort at all and should have deleted more.
What I mean is, I had an ideal as to what I wanted to talk about, but never really got around to it I feel.
That being the current military personal who are fighting for our freedom even as we speak.
The freedom they provide, and the respect they deserve.
That is all in the past now though so lets talk about the stuff I left out, yea lets take a look at that.
I am, as most of you all know, a little more patriotic then some.
I understand that we as a people need people to help … no more like to tell us, what we need to do sometimes.
I understand that freedom has a cost.
I also understand that we truly are the most free people in the world.
That being said …
I, on the flip side of the coin, also understand that many people think that the Government has to much control, and I agree.
I understand that the cost of freedom has of late been very costly.
Then also that if we are so free, why can’t we do what we want when and how ever we want?
Not being able to do as we wish when we want makes many people think that we are not in fact free at all.
O how wrong my flock or murderers who believe that you truly are!
A lot of you do say though things like get our children home and out of that dessert.
Then some of you say that we need to be over there helping.
Then some others of you say things like me that are some amalgamation (Dear God I not only used that word correctly but also spelled it right on the first try!) of the two.
That being that we should be helpful but enough is enough.
We also have the group that says drop a BIG bomb in the desert already, build a trench to the ocean and open up the worlds larges Sea Park.
OK, I am the only one who might think the last part …
The point is, do we need to be over there?
I don’t think so.
Let me point out why though.
We are searching for a group of people by going door to door, this never works on TV in a small area, so why on earth would it work in a small country?
Not everyone over there is a member of this resistance so we have to treat everyone in good faith, that is until they pull that proverbial dagger out and then try and shove it in our backs.
Yes, some of them do wish us to be over there, but I think it is safe to say from all of the deaths of our troops that some of them don’t either.
So, I have an ideal.
It isn’t all politically correct, or even right in most people eyes, but I think it might work anyway.
We go and figure out where the best sand is.
You know the all around best section to try and live in/on with water and only the finest of caves.
We build a small city with buildings, wells, even irrigation systems so they can grow crops.
We open schools factories and then do an all call to the people of the land saying come to this place to live.
Drop off a bunch of livestock and then build a wall.
This will give all of the ‘good’ people a place to thrive and an escape from the terrorists.
We will have to implement some type of secret handshake but that can be figured out during construction.
Just make sure it isn’t the left hand …
I am joking of course, well actually no, in a lot of ways this would help the people and save us a lot of money in the long run, but lets think about the facts.
We, as Americans are getting tired of hearing from some random person knocking on our door that our child, spouse or parent will never get the chance to see us again.
We are getting tired of government leaders who worry more about a re-election vote and there own children’s lives then the people they send to war, making our decisions for us.
Sure, they have an inside scoop, lets put there child over there though and see how quickly they might vote differently.
(I also say, on a side note mind you, that we need to institute a mandatory military term for everyone.
It will teach discipline, respect and a bunch of other things too.
Plus, it will get the good old Wig Heads a chance to know fear as there own children are put in danger.)
These Wig Heads are making all of the decisions on what is best for them and there own, and not so much thinking about us anymore.
We are fighting in a war that was started because we stuck or noses in other peoples business.
We continue in this war because … I don’t know the real reason other then I guess so we can say we won?
Enough is enough!
Guess what, we can not win!
These people fight for a religious cause.
We are trying to convince zealots that they are wrong.
Yea, hasn’t worked so far I am sure if we keep fighting it might sink in …
What would happen if people came to America and told us that Christianity was wrong and started attacking us because we had different believes?
Would we not fight back as well?
Dear God we would fight back and then, well, I guess we would go to there country and attack them as well … is that what this is about then?
Separation of _____ and _____?
I joked about building a city for them, I do think it would be a wonderful thing but as we found out only a few generations ago in Africa that this ideal isn’t necessarily the best.
What I do think we need to do is to back off, bring our troops home and close the borders for a time.
All of these other countries have said that they support us but they have stopped fighting because the looses are just to great.
We have bankrupted our own country funding this conflict.
We have tortured and lost so many of our countries children’s souls that the pain will be felt for decades!
So, enough is enough already.
Pull out and take care of our own.
This country is broken and in need of aid.
I know that other countries need our help, but don’t we need it now too?
Don’t even give me that different founds and different budgets stuff.
Pull from the foreign aid funds and help our own already.
We keep trying to tell others how to live, how to help others and to do what is right.
We don’t do it ourselves though?
We keep judging these other people by a standard we ourselves have not meet?
Doesn’t the Bible say something about not judging others?
“Judge not least ye be judged thy self”
People, we need to take care of ourselves first and we need to do it soon!
Who are we to try and fix others when we are in fact so broken?
Does this ring a bell anyone?
Matthew 7:3-5
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
That’s it for now, and once again I kept a lot back in an attempt to stay civil and polite.
The real question is, why do I keep holding back?
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Let me start with a giant THANK YOU … 2 words that can mean so much and sound like so little.
What I mean is, it says so much in one way, then again, it can’t cover what we feel in another … this still isn’t sounding right now is it?
That is to say, that 2 little words just can’t explain the thanks and gratitude to the people who have done, and will continue to do, the things needed to help keep us safe, free and all around the most lucky and blesses people on the face of the Earth.
It is though, all that I have I can say.
So, until another word or 2 comes along that is better, this is the best I have to offer.
It is heart felt and meant though … I hope that the sentiment and feelings put behind it is felt and scene for what I truly feel and mean.
Now, let me restart with an attempt to say that this is not me trying to take anything away form our current Veterans!
I think everyone knows how I feel about them.
If not read back over my older blog’s in Blog’s From Before.
The bottom line is, Veteran’s are Heroes!
I respect them, and would not be able to do anything I do today without them.
All of that being said, I think I want to take a little different direction this time around though.
Lets talk about the Veterans of the future.
The young men and the women who are becoming and/or will become or future Heroes.
Part of me wants to make a quick joke about the soldiers, no the Heroes of the future and how they will be fighting off aliens and terminator robots … not today though.
Heads up for my new readers, the Veterans Day blog’s aren’t normally funny … or even fun …
The reason I am bringing up the current and next generation of Heroes is simple.
They are the topic that is on my mind right now!
I just got hit with 2 realizations back to back.
The second one following the first literally days after the first.
The second now being the first one we talk about as we work our way backwards …
The shooting at Fort Hood.
I will not refer to the shooter by anything even remotely kind such as man or person, just shooter.
Here we have a shooter who worked with, trained with, stood next, toke vows of protection, and also swearing oaths to uphold and protect …
This shooter is not only a Psychiatrist but also a Major in the US Army …
That means he has gone to collage, passed so many tests I can’t even count, while also passing a bunch of boards of higher ranking people to prove he should be where he is.
So the question is, WHAT THE ____ HAPPENED?
This shooter decided to go into a place where our troops are either filled with dread and fear as they are about to leave to go protect us, or a place filled with hope while still filled with despair as our troops return home to recover from the horrors they have just left in an attempt to learn how to live with the nightmares they just lived through … and live with the nightmares they might have been forced to instill into others.
The place he choose was very disturbing to say the least.
This place where we try to help people through mental trauma and fears most can‘t even grasp.
The calm relaxing everything will be OK atmosphere we all try to administer on others as we know it might not be before they are then shipped off into a desert filled with both blood and pain.
Then the calm and somber location we try to cope and comfort our troops with as they return to a world that is not as they remember it.
This place should be treated as an off limits area.
Like when you see the Red Cross flag you know not to shoot.
Then again, we are no longer dealing with normal people anymore are we?
This though, Dear God this should still be off limits!!!
These people both coming and going are not in the war, either yet or anymore!
I will give you that this will help to keep some from wanting to go over.
It will also make some want to go over even more because they think that our country is under attack again.
The people returning though … the few who might have been coming in unscathed that day ... poor, poor people ...
All I can say is, I am so sorry … … … So, So Sorry … … …
It used to be that they might come home to protesters … not normally shooters …
Another thing, this shooter has set back the Muslim-American people SO far!
He has risked the lives of so many good people and I can only hope he lives through it to see the error of his ways … and then be forced to judge his own soul, only to then find himself unwanted …
It is still not known, as of the time I am writing this anyway, if this shooter is connected to any larger organization.
If he is/was, run in fear you cockroaches because our troops are not going to look kindly on your kind!
Lets move on to the first thing that has me thinking about our current troops.
This one hit’s a lot closer to home.
Typing it now is actually putting tears in my eyes just thinking about it … this is as bad as the Horrible Marley and Me movie …
So much so I am going to go walk Wonder Dog for a few minutes to clear the thoughts … BRB …
Well, I hope that the wait wasn’t to bad for you all.
Thanks for your patience and understanding.
I have a friend I meet back during my time in the Army in 95.
We have been friends ever since.
I have mentioned him once or twice in my blog’s and everyone who knows me know who he is.
I am trying to lighten the mood a little so shush and injoy it before it goes back to sad and depressing!
I feel it is time for him to finally be named.
No not because he is imaginary but because I never use people’s real names when I am writing.
So from this day forth I dub him Kermit!
This comes from a picture I have of him from a field exercise we where on when he is squatting down with a stupid smile on his face.
He himself said he looks like Kermit the Frog in this picture.
There for, he is now and forever, or until I decide otherwise … or he says he doesn’t like it … Kermit!
Back to the topic of depression, Kermit just got deployed back to that ____ dessert.
I was felling kind of OK with it …
I mean he is going to be on the back lines sending the troops home.
He will be doing, as I understand it anyway, the exit checks to send our people home.
He will only have a 6 month deployment … but it will cover over Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and of course his birthday.
I guess this hit me harder today because I started looking more and more into this shooter at Fort Hood.
This was supposed to be a safe spot, as is where Kermit will be and look what happened there.
It didn’t play out very well in my head as to how much worse it could be back over there.
One of the big things that is bothering me is this, who will watch over him?
We had each other when we where over there and that was always good enough.
Now, he is over there with a bunch of people he doesn’t know, trusting in them to be what he needs when he needs them.
Just like everyone had put their trust in this Major in Fort Hood …
He though, like all of our other Heroes over there are, is in a strange boat.
They have to trust the people they are assigned to work with.
They don’t know them, they don’t know what they can do or if they will do what is needed.
This does not help there mind set of they are in a desert with people trying to kill them!
Our people are being put through and being forced to do things that are borderline unthinkable, and have no clue who is standing right behind them as they do it.
They do this though because they feel the need to.
They do this so they can protect there friends, family and America in general.
I say that Kermit is my friend.
That’s saying a lot to the people who know me.
I only have 2 after all, La Wife and Kermit.
He is though, and I mean no disrespect to my blood family, my brother.
I don’t know what will happen if something happens to him.
I mean I have told him I would help take care of his family if anything does happen to him and he knows I hold that statement in the highest of high regard.
Then again though, if he did die in that desert, I can’t say I wont go all John Rambo on a one way trip back over to that God forsaken place.
I am not joking about that part …
The worst part is, La Wife and I have talked about it … I honestly think she would understand … but I have made promises to her, and to him that I need to keep in mind and put first.
Must of you have no clue how strong a bond a promise from me is … but it has never before been put to a test like La Wife or his death …
As always, God Bless our troops, our Veterans and America.
We are the most blessed people to have what we have, and live where we live.
That’s all I have to say today … I know it is a little disjointed and off kilter and I am sorry.
I also know that this isn’t my best work, deal with it!
You all should see what all I have deleted ...
This topic is hitting closer to home then most of you know, and more so right now.
Please take today's topic though for what it is meant to say, and please remember the people it is about.
The heroes of Yesterday, Today and the Future!
They gave/give me the freedom to be able to write it, and you to read it …
Never Forget and Never Forgotten!
Thank you ...
I borrowed this picture from NoReasonComic.Com
It just kind of hit something inside, and I wanted to share it with the rest of you.
Then I read up on it to find a little more out about it.
If you could please, go take a look at what they have to say about today and you will understand the picture a lot more.
It has a great, and short, story!
It is based on something they do up there, and a song about it.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWwB9NwDpq0)
They do things a little differently up there then we do, and we could learn a little something from them it seems.
Darn, who would think Canadians could be more patriotic then most of us?
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That’s right, La Wife and I!!!
I know that none of you missed me, but La Wife is swell and everyone should miss her when she is not around!
Our trip was safe, fun and more expensive then we should talk about in a public forum being that we owe people money who I know for a fact used to look at my blog’s once a pone a time.
I know that no one wants to hear about other peoples vacations, and worse yet to be forced to look at the pictures they took on said vacation.
To bad, read about it or not this is easer then telling each of you one at a time.
I will be kind and post the pictures in the Picture Pages section.
Day one:
We drive down to Miami in our rental car, that just happened to be a 2010 Ford Mustang .
Gotta love free upgrades!
We get on the boat and, well yea that’s about it.
You all know the basics, we ran around looking at things and eat 5 times before dinner.
At dinner thought we went and meet our dinner companions for the trip.
They where Mennonites and all I can tell you is that they don’t believe in war and that they are a more modern faction of the Amish?
Day two:
This day was at sea, we slept, eat, walked around and repeated.
This was La Wife’s birthday so we ended up going to the private dinner.
It was OK … the food wasn’t so great … La Wife got a little sick so we called it a night.
Day Three:
Mexico, again … third times the charm?
IT WAS!
We went and got into some Jeeps and drove off to some caves.
We then went swimming in said caves and snorkeling around in them too.
We left there and went to a pretty beach where we got to partake in an authentic Mexican buffet … with real authentic spaghetti on it?
We then bounced back to the ship … and went right to sleep.
Mental Note: Cave Excursions = Nap Needed!
Day Four:
Again at sea.
Really didn’t do a lot other the sleep and eat … with many repeats!
Day Five:
Grand Cayman!
We took a tour to the Sea Turtle farm.
This was a cool, and great place.
They are attempting to help repopulate the Green Sea Turtle by breeding and raising them.
They also sell turtle soup … needless to say La Wife and I did not partake …
We then got to go over to a little beach and spent about an hour in the ocean.
Life was good!
Once we left there we headed back to the market section at the port and went gem shopping.
While we where there and trying to figure out what in the world we where doing, as the local merchants tried to figure out how many dollar signs they saw above our head, the ships sales manager came in and remembered me from the night before and decided to help us out.
Long story short, he asked what we wanted, how much we wanted to spend, and then he handed us what we wanted frustrating the sales people.
We where happy though and that’s all that matters … right?
Day Six:
Jamaica … yea little more story here …
We took the Dunn River Falls tour and we got to climb the river.
See the pictures over in Picture Pages if you want to see what it looks like.
I can’t say enough about how cool that was … not just the water either!
We left there and went over to the Dolphin Cove to go swimming.
While there we got to see a bunch of dolphins … again see Picture Pages.
After that we went into town and needed to find another piece for La Wife’s costume.
So, of course it wasn’t a normal thing to find so we had to go off the tourist section and into town.
This is when things got strange.
I am not trying to brag, but I am 6’1 and am used to being left alone.
I work in a prison and am also used to being stared down and threatened.
That being said, I was not feeling so comfortable walking down these streets!
Some guy came up and ‘escorted’ us along our way all the while trying to convince us to go down a side street to the open market.
When he finally got the point we had no interest in going he walked all the way back with us and then asked for a tip for keeping us safe along our walk.
During his escorting I was approached 3 times with the offer of the Great Bob Marley’s favorite cigarettes.
While also having a strange man try to sell us gold form his pocket.
Yeppers, I learned my lesson … next time take old people with me I can throw at these people while I run in the opposite direction!
We got what we needed, left and breather a sigh of relief as we sat down for more cruise food, and a nap.
Day Seven:
Again at Sea.
We attended a juggling class … yea I got a few pictures of that too.
We went to the casino and for the first time ever … I walked away with more then I took to the table!
$5 bucks more people!!!
We also got all dressed up in out costumes and went down to the Halloween Party!
La Wife got so many complements and people stopped her to take pictures with her all over the place.
We didn’t even make it into the top 10 of costumes but I still think the got the crew and guests vote from all the smiles.
Day Eight:
We disembark, drive home and arrived to a fully cooked dinner that my Mother-In-Law and Sister-In-Law had cooked for us.
They had watched over Wonder Dog for us during our trip and once again, thanks just does not cut it!
Sunday, or Day Nine … We tried to order room service, only to be disappointed that my mother refused to bring me said room service.
That will be remembered old woman … how many more years until I Can put you in a home?
That’s that.
We had a blast!
Next week I will address some giant political topic that will make all of you take note and wonder, or not …
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