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I am trying to keep this short and sweet, sorry … well most of you don’t care anyway because you only look at this site out of some act of kindness to help stroke my rapidly diminishing ego.
Nah, we all know that’s not true … well the part about my diminishing ego that is!
La Wife and I are trying to plan out this darn vacation.
We are doing it mostly on the magical budget of credit cards and discount cards and vouchers, and of course the sale of blood, plasma, bone marrow and other things … yes I did think about offering up a kidney but I don’t think any one would wanted it after they saw me.
So, back to international travel and how bothersome it is!
First, figuring out where to go.
Second, how to get there.
Third, how long you can afford to stay there.
Forth, getting the time approved off.
Then you have one of the hardest parts, trying to fit everything you want to do in on to short of a trip.
Yea, it started out we only had like 5 things we felt we needed to do.
Then La Wife got on the computer and added about 20 more.
I can see why travel agents still have jobs now.
I can also see why tour companies stay open as well.
The truth of the matter though is, we are going to get to see and do more for less!
That’s the story we are going with anyway and I only hope it rings slightly of truth.
There are a lot of things to take into consideration though in planning an international trip.
I would almost say to just have someone else do it for you, but La Wife and I had fun figuring it all out and it was cheep easy quality time together I guess … for like every night for the last 2 months I think!
Also, countries know that they have you when you are coming over.
Let me just say 2 words to make it all make since, Car Rental …
That’s right!
Yes, I can have a mini car for just like 85 Euro for a week.
But no, I’m a big fat butt and need a larger car.
So lets go up a size shall we?
The next sizes up are the Economy (Ford Fiesta) and the Compact (Toyota Yaris).
Um, nope, still not big enough for me … what else you got?
Intermediate … that sounds good right?
Nope, it’s a darn Ford Focus!
How about a Standard … Volkswagen Passat?
How small are these people?
Am I going to be a giant like Arnold when he comes out the Asian airport in Twins?
Fine, lets look at the Full Size … Toyota Corolla … really … fine we will take it.
Ok so we have now gone from the best deals around and upgraded 4 times so it isn’t as good a price, but we are still doing well.
The next question is a stinger though.
Automatic or manual.
Well darn it I can drive anything, I have a manual transmission in my Blazer so of course lets go with that, it is always cheaper isn’t it?
Well, I start thinking and reading up on this little upgrade option for an automatic and low and behold it hits me.
I can drive a manual transmission just as well as anyone … with my right hand and left foot on the clutch …
But over there it will be with my left hand … and right foot … and on the wrong side of the road to boot!
OK, lets look at the upgrade to an automatic.
IT’S 3X AS MUCH!
After much discussion, I bowed down that although I am the master of all skills and the best at everything, even I can’t a lot for me being an idiot at some point and slamming on the break as I try and downshift in a hurry as a flock of sheep are coming down the correct side of the road … that I am also on because I forgot I am not in America where we drive on the right side of the road like normal people should … and I take out a flock of 4 legged animals.
La Wife would never let me live that down, so we upgraded …
The trip is almost booked, we are going to be making the final call this evening.
It isn’t as bad as we had expected … we are still going to have to put some (Cough Most Cough) of it on credit cards, but it is our 5 year anniversary present, and our honeymoon too.
I will keep you all updated … it is getting closer though and if you live in the area and need your yard cut feel free to call me!
Be for warned though, like our cousins on the other side of the Pond I will charge you in Euros so you think you are getting a good deal when in fact you will be paying twice as much!
This is why a cruise ship is the best option!
1/3 the cost and no planning other then what buffet to go to …
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The topics of conversations ended up all over the board again this week.
The end all be all though was on Friday afternoon when the crew I was working with got a phone call telling us to go pick up 2 five gallon bucks and dispose of them.
This was not a strange request, we do this kind of stuff all of the time.
Then the next part came out, we had to dig a hole and burry the contents.
Um, ok this just got a little strange now didn’t it?
I mean, some of my guys have probably buried some strange stuff in the past, you know everything from drugs, animals and human bodies.
But they, and I felt we needed to know what we where going to be burring just incase we needed to go incognito and be sneaky about it.
So of course I ask, what’s in the buckets?
Well, each of the lovely 5 gallon buckets is partially filled with home made fertilizer …
Um, excuse me, what?
I get the same response so this leads to the next part.
That being of course us laughed about it with that uneasy and uncomfortable flavor added to it.
So we go, we find and we realize got lied to!
There where, and I am not joking, 14 - 5 gallon buckets of poo!
There was so much that we knew we where getting close because of the smell alone about a block away.
Some of them had lids, most of them didn’t ...
Just a quick side note, it’s the middle of July in Florida here people!
On another side note, all of this and low and behold a darn dumpster sitting 15 feet away from where they where placed.
My crew and I ended up gagging and did what we needed to do.
We then drove down the road with our windows rolled up looking for people who had there windows down and pulling up next to them.
Completely by accident of course …
We end up back at the shop and I call over the boss so he could injoy the lovely smell … aren’t I a swell guy!
In his defense, he did not get a visit from his lunch again … like I did …
Well, this is when it got strange, it popped into my head that none of my guys had TB and Hepatitis shots, so we put the buckets on the ground, smiled and then got to walk away.
Thank goodness for knowing the rules … and knowing how to use them for personal gain …
So the end all topic of discussion this week ended up being another multitude of things within the last few hours of the week.
With a countdown like a late night show might have, insert your own drum roll!
5) Who thought to poo in a bucket and leave it out for another to clean it up?
4) Who thought to do it 14 times?
3) Why not put them into the darn dumpster that was just 15 feet away???
2) Peoples faces as we drove past
And of course the number 1 topic of mass conversation and a lot of injoyment …
How green I turned and how funny it was to watch me gagging off in a corner.
I let my guys have there laugh and have all there fun because, well, first I would have been laughing if it wasn’t me, and second as soon as they saw me turning green they really started moving to get the stuff way from me.
Who says they can’t be nice every once and awhile.
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Medical science is what I am thinking about right this moment.
They have come so far in such a short time period and can do just about anything now.
So that made me think of some of the things that they are capable of doing …
They can make a pill to send medication to a specific location in the body and no place else.
They can use a pill to send chemotherapy like drugs to fight specific cancer cells in the body.
They can even give you a pill to remove the build up of junk in your blood stream.
So, my question is …
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE A ANTI FAT PILL YET?
O come on already!
You mean to tell me that every famous person, every government higher up and every darn doctor actually goes out and exercises and eats right all of the time?
OK, the President does have a cooking staff, and does seem to exercise daily.
… do you think that he has food tasters to check for poison?
So I am sure that these people have a the great secret anti fat pill and they are just not sharing it!
I think it is out there, but that it is being held back by the government because if we all lost weight we would destroy the economy.
O yea, lets take a moment to think about this one now shall we?
The obvious is that people wouldn’t go out to eat as much and/or as often.
Speaking on that subject, do you see how we all like going to places because they feed us more then we should eat?
Did you know that most restaurants who serve what most of us think is to small of a portion is actually feeding us 1 and ½ times the recommended diet allotment?
Just a strange little side note for ya there.
Back to why the economy would fail …
Furniture would last longer.
We would have less need for doctors.
Because of the restaurant corporations taking a hit, all of the food providers and farms would take a large one too … in other nations that is, (Please see my below comment)
Cars would get better gas mileage … it always come back to fuel doesn’t it?
Now that we have looked at a few of negatives, lets point out some of the positives if this magic pill was to be pushed, and America was to get thinner!
More money in the pockets of the people because we don’t have to buy as many things such as furniture and clothes.
AKA, better economy for other business.
Better health … to help with the costs of our free health care plan …
More use of American farmers and ranches instead of buying foreign produce’s.
No need for big massive SUV’s that only get 10 miles per gallon.
So, everyone could drive smaller cars, helping with traffic congestion on the roads.
Also leading us toward lower road repair bills and a decrease in accidents.
And of course cutting down on global warming because of the lessening of carbon monoxide release.
So, why does the government not push this?
Why does the government not want a nation of healthy people?
My guess is because they are getting paid to much by all of the companies who would loose out on us being a healthier people.
That is just one ideal, but they have proven time and time again that as the people that we have picked and chosen to protect us and look out for our best interest, well, that they in fact don’t.
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I don’t have a lot to say about this one.
I know, I am having less and less to say each week now aren’t I?
Truth be told, the real question is, is it a big surprise?
I mean between ADD and everything going on I am impressed I have written for as long as I have.
Back to the 4th though.
Lots of people think it is all about BBQ’s and fireworks.
Well, that is what it has become about.
The other truth on this topic is that people think that this is what it is supposed to be about.
Well, why not?
Yes, we do need to take a second to think back to and remember all of the things our predecessors did and had to withstand to become what we are now today.
After that though, it is all about our independence and freedoms that we now have.
This is one of the few Holidays where it is absolutely your choice to celebrate it how every you want, or not at all!
It is also one of the few holidays that isn’t pushed by the happy card companies.
This is though the holiday that so many other people in so many other countries long for and crave to be allowed to celebrate.
So many other places only wish that they could say that they have broken away from there tyrant rulers.
Others long to have a democratic government.
Then others desire nothing more the chance to become something more then they are where ever they are.
So, being that it is my right to celebrate this day anyway I want, I think I am going to go …
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